The picture above is Illarion Pryanishnikov’s famous painting of Napoleon’s retreat from Moscow. Miserable story, miserable war. But that’s not why I posted it. When you say “retreat,” this is what most people think of. Well, I’m on retreat this week. No, I’m not fleeing the Russians, but in a way, I am fleeing something, or more accurately, I am fleeing to something.
Writing is generally a solitary, retiring sort of existence. Being a writer is not. Writer’s are always torn between shilling for their work, and actually doing it. There may be some who enjoy the selling part, I do not. I enjoy the writing part. I may not be very good at it, but I like it nonetheless. By nature, I enjoy solitude. I like to be able to sit quietly and think, but my mind is often crowded with ideas, worries, vague anxieties, and other distracting noise. Every so often, when it becomes too difficult to think, I find it useful to escape and go on a retreat. It might be for a day or two or five, but the aim is always the same. Change my point of view and return myself to clarity. Make myself look up and out, not down and in.
For me, it isn’t sufficient to go sit in my library with the door closed. I need to see something else, anything else, to make me adjust my view. At first it’s always unsettling. You feel off balance because the normal sights and routines are taken away. But after a while, the uneasiness subsides. You can hear yourself think, because all the other chatter dies away.
Human beings are so remarkably adaptable, that they can easily learn to cope with the most debilitating conditions of both mind and body. It can get to a point where the only way you know something is wrong is when the condition is taken away, or the pain decreases. Oh, so this is what normal feels like?!
Retreats, long and short, are beneficial for this very reason: you retreat from the ideas, worries, vague anxieties, and other distracting noise, and go to your own heart which is the only place you can hear, see, and think clearly. I highly recommend it!
