Say What?

Father Abbot went off the rails a bit yesterday. To my admittedly fat ears, his homily didn’t really tie the readings together very well, which is unusual for him. So what were the readings you ask? The readings for the 26^th Sunday in Ordinary time were from Numbers: 11:25-29, James 5:1-6 and the Gospel was taken from the 9^th chapter of St. Mark, verses 38-43, 45, and 47-48. The psalm was 19.

Go ahead and read them, I’ll wait…

…so, you got it? Good.

Father Abbot’s homily was about the love of God for each and every one of us, individually. Mmm’kay, that’s nice, but not the main theme I would’ve picked out from those readings. And he was very adamant about it. He said that if we are unsure of this fact, we need to spend more time meditating on the Cross. He told us that the main obstacle to having a true revelation of God’s love is our own sin. We feel unworthy, miserable, and frightened, therefore concluding that God wants nothing to do with us. We can’t believe in His love because it’s just too good to be true. The other reason is that when we truly get this into our thick skulls, such a love requires a response, one we may not be ready or inclined to give.

It was an excellent message but I still found it a stretch for those readings. You see, for the last ten or so years since I’ve come back to the Church, I’ve gotten used to priests actually giving a homily based on the readings rather than the off-the-cuff, extemporaneous musings I grew up with in the 70’s. So when his homily seemed off the mark, I was annoyed at first, but then the penny dropped.

Now, I was honestly shaken. Want to know why? It took me a while to come to terms with it, because I didn’t want to face it, but I was shaken because…I prayed for that homily. Yes, I really did. Sitting there before Mass, I prayed that God would give me some little, tiny encouragement, because, well, I suck and I need it. There were probably a bunch of people who prayed that prayer too—silently, desperately, longingly just like me.

But you know, I’d like to think He did it just for me. Because God loves each of us, individually, one at a time, and right where we are.