It’s finished.
The leaders’ men just brought The Boss back into the city for questioning. I’m not sure what will happen next, but I’m guessing their going to fine him and throw him out.
Well, everything went pretty much the way I planned, except that he knew. Somehow, he found out what I was planning. I know it wasn’t one of the guys—they’re oblivious—no, it must have been one of his secret followers in the leadership. Anyway, the whole evening was weird. Unsettling even.
So we’re all sitting down for dinner, everybody’s there, when suddenly the The Boss goes out and returns with a towel and wash basin. Then he goes around to each of us to wash our feet! Can you imagine? I was completely thrown. P made a big fuss when The Boss came to him, but he gave in. When The Boss came to me, I felt real uneasy, but I didn’t say anything. While he was drying my feet, he looked up at me—real intently ya know?—the same look he gave me on Sunday. It was a sad, imploring kind of look. I didn’t understand it at first, but it made my blood run cold.
As we were getting ready to eat, he explained why he’d done it. It didn’t make much sense to me, but the gist I got was that we should follow his example. If he, being The Boss, was willing to humble himself for us in this way, we should do likewise…or something like that. It’s one thing to be humble, and quite another to humiliate yourself, if you know what I mean.
Anyway, he said grace—a little longer than usual. He got real metaphysical on us—then he passed us the bread and wine. It was very somber. It wasn’t so much of a feast as a wake. It gives me the creeps.
Well, we’re all talking and then out of nowhere he comes out and says that one of us is going to betray him. I don’t mind telling you, I could feel my heart in my throat. Then everybody started looking around at everybody else, and asking, “Is it me?” I was trying to stay cool. I went to reach for the bread and just as I was reaching The Boss took a piece and handed it to me.
Our hands touched as he handed it to me. I could feel all the blood run out of my face. The room went a little blurry. He looked at me, and in a quiet voice he said, “What you’ve made up your mind to do, do it quickly.” Then he gave me “the look” again.
I dropped the bread like it was on fire and bolted out of there.
Later, after I went to C’s house, I led the men he sent with me to the garden. I figured The Boss would be there with the rest of the guys. It was getting pretty late but somehow I knew they’d be there. Sure enough, there they were. The guys jumped up when they saw us, The Boss looked ill, but composed and peaceful. I only had one last uncomfortable thing to do to earn my fee. I walked up to him as if the whole thing at dinner never happened and gave him a kiss.
I thought I was going to be all right, but he looked at me again—that same sad, pitying look—then he said, “This is how you betray me? With a kiss?”
He looked like a totally different person to me at that moment. He wasn’t angry, he just looked drawn and sad, but determined you know? I involuntarily took a step back. I felt light-headed. I was sure I was going to throw up. Before I could regain my composure the guards took him and led him away. There was a bit of a scuffle with P, but I didn’t see what happened because I was running back toward the city just as fast as I could go. I had to get away from that garden!
Now, I’m hanging around outside C’s house while I jot this down. I can hear lots of shouting and angry voices inside, but I can’t hear The Boss. In fact, I haven’t heard him at all. If I were smart, I’d be hightailing it out of town right now, because if any of the guys find me, I’ve had it. P’s got a real temper, so does his brother. Still, I’ve got to know what happens.
I thought I’d feel relieved now that it’s all over, but I don’t. In fact, I still feel kind of sick…
