Like many men of a certain age, I have noticed a sharp decline in both the quantity and quality of my hair. When challenged about it, I simply point out that my hair isn’t thinning, my skull is thickening. This explanation is met with a certain, shall we say, skepticism in some quarters.
You can imagine my delight when I received this wonderful news via email today:
Are you victim of hair thinning, greying or worse still… hair loss? and would you like to reverse your current trend and experience hair re-growth? Sacred Hair Growth is a herbal based formula that contains 8 powerful Chinese herbs and plants. Fleece flower root or Zhi Shou Wu extract is the main component of Sacred Hair Growth and it has truly amazing rejuvenating power.
Oh please, tell me more!
You should understand that hair loss and hair re-growth is a very complex problem… and simply using a shampoo won’t fix the problem. Instead, you need to feed our [sic] hair the nutrients it needs from what you ingest. The good news it that it’s not mission impossible. You just need to know how to do it…
Good heavens! What can I do?
Well, you can always accept that your hair is falling out and live with it. It’s not the most attractive solution, but if you still have a desire to re-grow your hair then you STILL have a chance (and when you read on, you’ll discover how).
Yes, I desire hair. I’m listening…
Another option is to buy an expensive product one of the big pharmaceutical companies has advertised on TV… one which has testimonials done by actors, not real clients… and see if you get results. Statistically, you’ve probably already tried a hyped up product you see on TV that simply didn’t work, and now you’re looking for something that works…
No! Those people are actors? Why I never…evil pharmaceutical companies! There must be another way!
Another expensive option is you can get laser surgery and im plant ‘fake’ hair on your head, to replace the ‘real’ hair you’ve lost. Although it is a quick fix, it is not recommended for the following reasons: You won’t “grow” your own hair, instead you’ll ‘wear’ fake hair which isn’t the same and quite frankly it’s not the same; It’s very expensive… in the thousands of dollars when you include monthly maintenance which costs close to $1000 every year. It will hurt… a lot (after all, we’re talking about surgery); There’s always the chance friends will turn your new ‘look’ into a ongoing joke.
I’m used to being an on-going joke, but I don’t like the sound of “It will hurt” at all. Whatever shall I do?
Or You Can Choose To Re-Grow Your Hair, Naturally, With the Sacred Hair Growth Herbal Based Formula and Zhi Shou Wu Which Has Proven Its Effectiveness for Thousands of Years…
Joy, oh joy! I bubble, I froth!
God created this sacred plant to work from inside to outside. Firstly, it will cleanse your body from the toxins and then restore the organs that are directly involved with the health of your hair, such as liver, kidney, blood and of course, skin.
As an end result, you’ll not only reverse baldness… but your overall health will improve dramatically. This truly amazing Chinese tonic has delivered amazing results for hundreds of thousands of people.
My liver and kidneys could sure use the help after what I’ve done to them. And the whole reverse-baldness angle is pure gravy! Why, I can’t lose. And look, here’s the spirited testimony of a satisfied customer:
Her hair grew an inch and a half in just 2 months! It must be the Sacred Hair Growth and not, you know, regular hair growth.
<sigh>
To quote Sinbad, “Y’all got some weaves up in here!”
