Who Can I Sue??

‘Tis the season, so everybody wants to talk about how dangerous football is. sylvester_and_tweety_1400x1050Mike Brown, owner of the Cincinnati Bungles and son of NFL icon Paul Brown, recently voiced his skepticism about the link between concussions and dementia.

If you don’t follow football—what the hell is wrong with you??—you may not have heard that a large group of former players is suing the league for concealing the risks of playing with injuries which could lead to long-term health problems.

Um, duh?

Even a human being as dumb as a football player, surely must understand that banging into another human being at a high rate of speed, repeatedly over several years, has got to be bad for you.

I know I’ve screeched about this before, but it really burns my toast when I hear this brought up again and again. Of course the media is lambasting Mr. Brown for his remarks. Yes, Mr. Brown is a bit “old school” and this kind of frank talk is to be expected, but c’mon people!

The default position in America today is that when something bad happens to us, first deny any personal responsibility and then find someone else to blame. Once that someone is identified, sue the socks off ’em!

Now, I suffered a few concussions playing football. Anyone who knows me, or spends five minutes with me, would definitively declare me impaired. Therefore, that must be the root of all my problems.

Anyone know a good lawyer?

At Last…

baseballEvery year it’s the same. As the fireworks subside from Independence Day celebrations, I begin to tingle with anticipation for the upcoming MLB All-Star game. What’s so exciting? Is it the thwack of a fine piece of ash connecting with the horsehide? 1-0 Pitching duels? Extra innings? Hot-dogs and beer?”

Hell no.

It’s the knowledge that baseball season is half over and that football camp is around the corner! Besides, what Chicagoan in his/her right mind is excited about baseball? I mean, we’re still milking that Blackhawks goat for a last few drops of vicarious pride until the dual abominations of Cubs and Sox pack it in for another season.

Well, today hope springs eternal because Da Bearsss report to camp, and the Big Ten (11, 12, 13, 14 and counting) Media Day opens.

In celebration of God’s Favorite Sport ™, let us turn to a topic that has been much discussed of late: Head Trauma.

Continue reading “At Last…”