So I come home after a long day of black market kitten peddling, I mean, writing, and my van’s gone! I hitch a ride with this dude who shares the same dumpster as me, and we go down to the impound lot. The man at the county impound says I was parked illegally.
When I say, “No way! There’s no sign by the river says I can’t park there!” He says, “Park district regulations prohibit loitering, camping, or other misuse of public land.” I told him I wasn’t camping, I was living there, and he told me to get out of his office…and while I was at it, to get a life.
Maybe it’s a blessing in disguise, cuz when the spring rains come, it’ll give new meaning to “I can’t move because my house’s underwater.” Anyway, I need $150 to get my van back. So do me a solid and buy something at the Chewing Glass General Store, huh? Thanks! Maybe I can return the favor some time.
