This Week in Sprots

sprotsThe less said about B1G football the better.

The less said about Chicago baseball the better.

So let’s turn our attention to the NFL, shall we?

NFL Commissioner Roger “Don Fanucci” Goodell is a hypocritical jerkass intent on strangling the goose that laid the golden egg. Way to go Rog.

Say, maybe Buffalo is better than we thought, huh?

Dear Mr. Head of NFL Officiating, Calvin Johnson caught that ball for a TD. Get a TV for cryin’ out loud!

Since we’re on the subject of the Loins: Let me quote Morgan Freeman in the movie Glory, “When? When O’ Lord is gonna be our time?”

Okay Bears fans, fess up now, how many of you yawned and turned the TV off at half time? Bear Down!

Is Drew Brees suffering from sleep-deprivation because of his new baby? Is he too tired to play football? For $10 million even I could complete one pass to my own team! Geez. Take a nap Drew!

Hats off to Drew Stanton for his journeyman performance for Arizona in relief of Carson Palmer. Eat ’em up!

Brian Hoyer leads the Browns to victory, despite having “Johnny Football” nipping at his ankles for the last four months. Eat ’em up!

And last, but not least, Kirk Cousins was a stud in relief of RGIII in Washington’s win! The fact that the Jaguars’ QB is from that little school in SE Michigan is just gravy. Rah, Rah, Rah!

But more important than their play on the field is the way they handle themselves off it. Humble, grateful, gracious, and sharp. SpartanNation is proud of all three of you!

And speaking of which…Hey Don Fanuch! There are lots of young men in the league who aren’t murdering, dope-smoking, wife-beating, child-abusing, dog-fighting, philandering, gun-toting thugs. They are smart, articulate, hard-working pros, who take care of their families and give back to their communities.

Why don’t you let them be the face of the NFL? Please. Or pretty soon, all we’ll have left is cricket and kickball.