Seems that some fat-headed, meatball, football fans in Texas are sick of the Cowboys losing, so they’ve started a petition to get the executive branch of the federal government to step in and remove Jerry Jones, the Cowboys owner, president, general manager, and night janitor.
I almost don’t know where to begin. There’s the basic lunacy of the idea, there’s the unhinged, sports fan angle, there’s the obvious, willful ignorance of how our republican form of democracy works, there’s the whole property rights issue I could address—can you say Lenin?—but I think this quote from the petition says it all:
We, the Citizens of the Great State of Texas, and Dallas Cowboys fans worldwide, have been oppressed by an over-controlling, delusional, oppressive dictator for way too long.
Hmmm…then they go on to request the removal of Jerry Jones because:
His incompetence and ego have not only been an extreme disappointment for way too long, but moreover, it has caused extreme mental and emotional duress.
Of course, this is probably a joke. So far, about 500 people have signed the petition. But with a tiny alteration, say substituting Jerry Jones’ name for the name of the guy the petition is addressed to, I’d sign it!
