Category: Humor

My Bromance

Much has been said about the extraordinary young man that is Kirk Cousins.

Isn't he dreamy??
Isn’t he dreamy??

People have used terms like classy, solid, well-spoken, down-to-earth, genuine, and Christian. These are all things that Kirk is and continues to be, despite the attention he gets.

Oh, and he’s not a bad quarterback either.

I’ve watched him grow up from an un-recruited kid out of Holland Christian H.S. in southwest Michigan, to a three-year captain of my Spartans, to a 4th round draft pick of the Washington Redskins. Just this past Saturday, the Spartans held their annual Spring Green & White game and guess who was in the broadcast booth doing color? Yup, Captain Kirk. You know what? He did a great job. His first time out, but you’d never known it. I’m not surprised.

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Nooooo!

Ooo! They have it in blue!
Ooo! They have it in blue!

I admit it. I have a problem with food. Actually, it’s more of a love-hate relationship: I love to eat, and hate stopping. So over the course of time, I’ve gotten a little, uh, fluffy.

Oh, I exercise. There’s lots of stairs in my home, and then there’s yard work, oh, and taking the garbage to the end of the driveway on Fridays…and brushing my teeth—that’s great for developing your lats and upper core, or so I’m told.

[shifty-eyes] Ahem.

But hey, I’m not alone and that makes all of us fat and near-fat a thriving market. Where there’s a dollar to be made on other people’s misery, you can bet there’s an entrepreneur—probably some jerkass that does 10K runs on weekends when he’s not mountain climbing—ready to cash in, with some idiotic, overwrought and overpriced technology aimed at making the miserable less so. It’s soooo hi-tech, it’s gotta work, right?

Well, now there’s hope for the horizontally challenged: the HAPIfork. Get it? “Hapi.” Cute eh?

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So When’s Camp?

[sigh] Basketball season is over—I don’t want to talk about it—but Saturday is the Spring Football Game. Woo…Yeah, I know, big deal.

But here’s another reason I love being a Spartan:

Some of these ladies might want to think about walking-on this fall! Congrats to Coach D and Mrs. Coach (she does all the work for this afterall)!

We Aim to Please

April 15th…hmmm, seems there’s something I was supposed to do today, what was it? Something important…[drums fingers on desk]…oh well, if it was important, I would have written it down somewhere.

Anyway, “Ellie” writes in to ask:

Could you write about Phsycis so I can pass Science class?

Well, first let’s start with spelling shall we? If you want to pass Physics class, you must remember the following:

Entropy isn’t what it used to be.

and

Time is God’s way of keeping everything from happening at once.

Good luck there Ellie. You’ll need it.

Curse of the Goat

goat
Owner of the Billy Goat and Friend
I forget which is which.

Now, y’all know I don’t give a skinny rat’s ass about baseball, but the weapons-grade lunacy that surrounds everything in Chicago is so fascinating that I can’t look away.

Yesterday afternoon an unidentified individual delivered a box containing a goat’s head to Wrigley Field, addressed to Cubs’ owner Tom Ricketts. I’ll spare you the bizarre back-story about the goat; you can read about it here.

This current goat-related kerfuffle seems to center around the Cub’s troubles getting much needed renovations to Wrigley underway. Anyone who has even driven by it knows the place is a dump. A powerful alderman who represents the residents around Wrigley, and the deep-pocketed “roof-top” owners who put him in office, don’t want the Ricketts family—ya know, the people who actually own the Cubs and the ballpark—to mess with their, ahem, golden goat.

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