Because We Can…

Now how am I supposed to demolish what I can't see??
And I left Japan for this??

…is never a good justification for doing anything.

Unfortunately, it is a common phenomenon in the world today. I saw quite a bit of it when I worked in Information Technology.

Programmers routinely add “functionality” that serves no earthly purpose to a perfectly serviceable system, Because We Can. In business, executives spend gazillions of dollars on projects that are barely implementable and offer dubious or non-existent gains in productivity, Because We Can. Our government tries to deliver unicorns, cellphones, and healthcare to everyone in the land through labyrinthine, bureaucratic monoliths, Because We Can. This is the kind of thinking that contributed to my mental collapse while at IBM.

But enough about my psychoses. Here is a lovely example of Because We Can from the world of architecture:

South Korea Will Soon Be Home To An Invisible Skyscraper

 

Anybody see a problem with this? Anyone? Bueller?

Let’s forget for a moment that this building will be erected near the Incheon Airport outside Seoul, and take a look at the reasoning behind it:

The architects claim that the Tower Infinity as it is called will, “provide the World’s first invisible tower, showcasing  innovative Korean technology.”

Uh huh.

In reality, it’s just a system of cameras and projectors. It’s been done. Just not on this scale, or in such a wildly inappropriate application. The architects go on to say that Tower Infinity will display Korean technology by, “establishing its most powerful presence through diminishing its presence.”

Yeah, it’s presence will be diminished all right, just as soon as the first airplane smacks into it!

Not to worry though—Given how overly-complicated technology works in practice, this building will probably look less invisible and more like Microsoft’s notorious Blue Screen of Death.

h/t Ace

 

It’s a Scary World

If you’re as depressed as I am about what’s happening in the world, don’t read the newspaper today. Shootings in DC Navy Yard, Syria, Iraq, Afghanistan, Chicago…Brrrr!

So I peek out from under the covers today to take a look around. It’s a beautiful, sunny, autumn day. I flip open the laptop and see this:

Spooky Clown Mystery Grips Northampton
Spooky Clown Mystery Grips Northampton

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

What the…?

As I shuddered in horror—because, you know, who isn’t afraid of clowns, spooky or not?—it occurred to me that this is a perfect metaphor for the state of the world.

There’s some strange, evil, nasty lurking things going on out there so please, be careful!

Advertising in the PoMo Age

My spleen is aching because I’m about to aid and abet advertisers without gettin’ paid, but this is kinda funny…and effective advertising to boot.

This ad has gone viral, so I guess by calling attention to it, I’m technically a carrier. Typhoid Rob they call me. <cough>

Paging Doctor Dolittle!

Oh those crafty Chinese! Not content to steal America piece by piece and then sell it back to us at a profit, now their counterfeiting animals!

Um, roar?
Um, roar?

This is a lion.

What’s that you say? It’s a dog? No, no, you’re mistaken! Take a closer look.

Whoa! Not too close.

That’s very clearly a vicious lion straight from the vast plains of the Kalahari.

Why, if not for the attentive and highly trained handler keeping the terrible beast at bay, it might, at any minute, run amok, leap over the yellow line painted in front of its enclosure and lick, I mean maul a park visitor to death!

I ask you, where else can you see such a superb specimen of the king of beasts? Now, if you’ll please excuse us, Simba needs to go walkies.

Ack!

billthecatOh for cryin’ out loud, Grumpy Cat is going to make a movie??

Disapproving Rabbits, lolcats, icanhazhotdogs, Misery Bears, cats with box fetishes, and now a cat who’s famous for her sour puss!

[see what I did there?]

It just goes to show ya, the internet will make anyone, or anything, famous for a week or so.

Why can’t you do anything colorful Gracie? Oh good, she’s licking herself.