Okay, not Kwik-E-Mart, but that other convenience store, you know, the one that sells Squishees.
What? That’s still the Kwik-E-Mart? All right, then whaddaya call those slushy, fruity drinks that come in big cups that you’re supposed to gulp down on a hot day?
Whatevs. I ain’t collecting any ad money from ’em anyway.
So, been to the movies lately?
Seems all the big, blockbuster summer films have been big, blockbusting summer flops. Well, if you’re a fan of the cinematic arts like I am, don’t despair. Tonight on SyFy is an epic movie event, the likes of which has never been seen or even imagined by the film-going public! A production so vast in scope, so daring in its execution that it cannot, neigh, must not be missed…
Oh, you can have your Citizen Kane, your Gone with the Wind, your Schindler’s List, but this has sharks in a tornado.
If they were still alive, I bet Ed Wood and William Castle would crawl on their bellies over broken glass to buy the rights to make this ground-breaking film!
I mean, c’mon.
Sharks. In a tornado.
My daughter’s most irrational fear (since we live far from any ocean)sharks on a killing rampage, paired with a very real threat of a mid-western tornado. That’s pure genius! Wonder if it’s availabe on blu-ray?
They just don’t make ’em like they used to, do they?
Midway at the Maple Hill Cinema, Star Wars at the Douglas Drive In…
Good time!
Sensoround!
By the by—just for purely anthropological reasons you understand—I dvr’d it. The total awfulness of this “film” reached levels I didn’t think were possible. The best line in the movie w/o a doubt was, “I’m from Wyoming, I hate sharks!”