Oh noes! Sad news today from the world of comedy and frightening people.
Sources report a disturbing shortage of clowns. Membership in the World Clown Association [ahem] has dropped by almost a third since 2004.
[ I would find the proliferation of clowns more disturbing.]
Clowns of America International [ahem again] President Glen Kohlberger explains that the main problem is that all the old clowns are dying, while world-clowning overall is falling below replacement levels.
WCA President Deana Hartimer added that:
The challenge is getting younger people involved in clowning.
According to Kohlberger:
What happens is they go on to high school and college and clowning isn’t cool anymore. Clowning is then put on the back burner until their late 40s and early 50s.
OMG. When was clowning cool? Did I miss something? I may be ignorant, but the only famous clowns I can think of are John Wayne Gacy, Pennywise, Krusty, and whoever is governor of Illinois.
But that still doesn’t explain the shortage. All you have to do is drive on the tollway or ride the CTA and you can find all the clowns you need.
In other news, Ralph the Handyman—I’m sorry, that’s so heteronormative and phallocentric of me—HandyPerson is dead at 89.
On behalf of Bozo, Clarabell, Ronald McDonald and Homey, I doth protest!
But Homey don’t play dat!