Being a ne’re-do-well has its disadvantages, if I’m honest. Doomed as we are to live in a world devoid of rainbows and unicorms and government cheese, one is still forced to make a living somehow.
As a result, I have learned many creative ways to get paid for doing nothing. Afterall, I gots to keep myself in scotch and Sterno now that winter’s here!
So one day, while taking a break from collecting lint from my neighbors dryer vents—
