Thoughts on writing, living, and believing…
George Alexander Louis of Cambridge.
Well, this bumps Prince Harry to fourth in line for the throne. He comes after after his new nephew, his big brother the Duke of Cambridge and his dad, Big Ears, the Prince of Wales respectively.
Prince Andrew, the Duke of York falls to a distant fifth. It’s all very complicated.
So who’s the Duke of Earl?
Continue reading “Does His Highness Want His Ba-ba?”
Every year it’s the same. As the fireworks subside from Independence Day celebrations, I begin to tingle with anticipation for the upcoming MLB All-Star game. What’s so exciting? Is it the thwack of a fine piece of ash connecting with the horsehide? 1-0 Pitching duels? Extra innings? Hot-dogs and beer?”
Hell no.
It’s the knowledge that baseball season is half over and that football camp is around the corner! Besides, what Chicagoan in his/her right mind is excited about baseball? I mean, we’re still milking that Blackhawks goat for a last few drops of vicarious pride until the dual abominations of Cubs and Sox pack it in for another season.
Well, today hope springs eternal because Da Bearsss report to camp, and the Big Ten (11, 12, 13, 14 and counting) Media Day opens.
In celebration of God’s Favorite Sport ™, let us turn to a topic that has been much discussed of late: Head Trauma.
cairn (k??n)
—n
1. a mound of stones erected as a memorial or marker
Where the restless waters recede,
I walk among stones long hidden.
Lapped by countless waves, their faces worn smooth,
Belying the fires that made them.
Search with me, select the best.
Help me to arrange them,
Fit them and make them stand,
Because I want to remember this spot at the end of the world.
Lay one stone upon the other,
Assemble them in proper order.
Knit them together,
As You’ve knit my life to Yours.
Here’s the scenario:
You’re an itinerant magician, trying to make a buck in this narcoleptic economy. You roam from place to place doing tricks, creating illusions, pulling the odd rabbit out of a hat, in the desperate hope you’ll put a smile on someone’s face and a few shekels in your pocket. Then, suddenly, catastrophe falls upon you.
An killer tornado—with sharks in it—bears down on the town where your performing. Simultaneously, a giant electromagnetic pulse is released from a nearby exploding star, all while a hitherto undiscovered pocket of white-hot “magma” churns beneath you in a hitherto undiscovered geologic fault, ready to blow you sky-high at any moment.
What will you do to save the rabbit?
Hey, it could happen. At least the government wants you to be prepared. That’s a good thing right?
As a taxpayer and an animal lover from way back, my only reaction is a double-facepalm with half-gainer.
Did I mention that the world is completely unhinged? Did I mentioned that our government is run by imbecilic Vogons?
Where are my pills?
Okay, not Kwik-E-Mart, but that other convenience store, you know, the one that sells Squishees.
What? That’s still the Kwik-E-Mart? All right, then whaddaya call those slushy, fruity drinks that come in big cups that you’re supposed to gulp down on a hot day?
Whatevs. I ain’t collecting any ad money from ’em anyway.
So, been to the movies lately?
Seems all the big, blockbuster summer films have been big, blockbusting summer flops. Well, if you’re a fan of the cinematic arts like I am, don’t despair. Tonight on SyFy is an epic movie event, the likes of which has never been seen or even imagined by the film-going public! A production so vast in scope, so daring in its execution that it cannot, neigh, must not be missed…
Continue reading “Happy Kwik-E-Mart Day!”
