Happy Kwik-E-Mart Day!

Who needs the Kwik-E-Mart?
Who needs the Kwik-E-Mart?

Okay, not Kwik-E-Mart, but that other convenience store, you know, the one that sells Squishees.

What? That’s still the Kwik-E-Mart? All right, then whaddaya call those slushy, fruity drinks that come in big cups that you’re supposed to gulp down on a hot day?

Whatevs. I ain’t collecting any ad money from ’em anyway.

So, been to the movies lately?

Seems all the big, blockbuster summer films have been big, blockbusting summer flops. Well, if you’re a fan of the cinematic arts like I am, don’t despair. Tonight on SyFy is an epic movie event, the likes of which has never been seen or even imagined by the film-going public! A production so vast in scope, so daring in its execution that it cannot, neigh, must not be missed…

Why Can’t We All Just Get Along?

The temptation was too great. Try as I might to avoid the news, hoping in vain  to maintain my sanity, world events just keep offering up chances for the human race to demonstrate how unhinged we all are.

With you, I was saddened to read of the crash of Asiana Flight 214 in San Francisco this past weekend. As horrible as a plane crash is, it seems much worse when it looks like the cause points to human error. Unfortunately, the tragedy wasn’t bad enough for the uptight, busy-bodies of the Asian American Journalists Association.

Racist
Racist

You see, this past Sunday’s Chicago Sun-Times, ran a piece on the crash with the headline “Fright 214.” Now you and I dear reader, being innocent of prejudices, and lacking a need to grind the axe of the perpetually aggrieved, see that as a play on words which tries to convey the fear of the passengers, albeit a corny one.

However, the perpetually aggrieved members of the AAJA  saw that headline as a racially insensitive joke, because the airline in question is Korean. They saw it as the kind of thing Krusty the Klown might say, not the editorial staff of a major metropolitan newspaper. In case you missed the offensive “joke” like I did, it goes along the lines of, “Me so solly,” and “I likea flied lice.” Read the headline again and you’ll get it…sadly.

Word of the Day

per·e·gri·na·tion
 [ pèrr?gri náysh’n ]
  1. journey: a journey or voyage

I must apologize to both of you loyal readers for my blog absence of late, but I’ve been peregrinating.

Where?

Thanks for asking. Among my many travels along the beautiful I-94 corridor, my course has taken me further and further from any type of media, including the internet, texts, emails, Farcebook, Lookitmei’mLinkedIn, Pintwhocares, Instagrams, Skype, carrier pigeons, smoke signals, sky-writers, or Navaho code-talkers.

Why?

Because the incessant, relentless connectedness which these mediums afford, only serve to broadcast the demise of civilization, which, you know, is such a downer. The current poster child of which is this woman: Naveena Shine.

Yup. Naveena. Shine. Ms. Shine is a “Breatharian.”

Uh huh. I see. I’m sure there’s a LinkedIn group for that if you’re interested, and if you spend all your waking hours updating LinkedIn, then you probably are.

Well…that’s just a bit more than I can take. I’m just going to go over here and sit in a corner until this all clears itself up m’kay? I may sing quietly to myself if you don’t mind.

Continue reading “Word of the Day”

Any Excuse for Takin’ the Day Off

The view from Grant Park…

Photo Courtesy Chicago Tribune
A new take on “hockey hair”
@Chicago Tribune

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

What My Father Taught Me

When I was small, my dad used to send me greeting cards from work, just boyanddadfor the hell of it. They were usually funny, or sweet, or sweetly funny. The message was the same, “Hey kid, I’m thinking of ya!”

Dad was never a very demonstrable man—except when he was angry—so this always struck me as somewhat odd. When I quizzed my friends about it, they thought it was strange too.

“It’s not your birthday or anything?”

“Nope.”

“And he just sends you…cards?”

“Yup.”

“Weird.”

Weird it may have been, but I always looked forward to getting the mail because I never knew when I might get another “just cuz” card. It felt good to know he was thinking of me, even when he wasn’t around. At that age, I really didn’t know what Dad did at work, only that he left in the morning and came home every night, reliable as a Swiss watch. To my childish mind, life was good. There was food on the table, clothes on my back, a warm roof over my head, and absolutely nothing to need. I didn’t understand until much later how hard a trick that is to pull off.

Friday Music Spectacular! “That’s Not Right” Edition

Thank God, I can't hear a thing!
Thank God, I can’t hear a thing!

The weekend approaches, and I just realized I hadn’t posted any music videos in a while…

Hey! Where you going? Get back here! It won’t be that bad, really…

Ok, maybe a little bit.

First up, what do get when you pair an iconic performer with an equally iconic TV show theme? I don’t know, but if you find out let me know. Instead listen to this:

Ack!

billthecatOh for cryin’ out loud, Grumpy Cat is going to make a movie??

Disapproving Rabbits, lolcats, icanhazhotdogs, Misery Bears, cats with box fetishes, and now a cat who’s famous for her sour puss!

[see what I did there?]

It just goes to show ya, the internet will make anyone, or anything, famous for a week or so.

Why can’t you do anything colorful Gracie? Oh good, she’s licking herself.