The County Towed My Van!

So I come home after a long day of black market kitten peddling, I mean, writing, and my van’s gone! I hitch a ride with this dude who shares the same dumpster as me, and we go down to the impound lot. The man at the county impound says I was parked illegally.

When I say, “No way! There’s no sign by the river says I can’t park there!” He says, “Park district regulations prohibit loitering, camping, or other misuse of public land.” I told him I wasn’t camping, I was living there, and he told me to get out of his office…and while I was at it, to get a life.

Maybe it’s a blessing in disguise, cuz when the spring rains come, it’ll give new meaning to “I can’t move because my house’s underwater.” Anyway, I need $150 to get my van back. So do me a solid and buy something at the Chewing Glass General Store, huh? Thanks! Maybe I can return the favor some time.

Continue reading “The County Towed My Van!”

Repressed Memories

Staple of WKZO in Kalamazoo, home of celery and tin-eared hillbillies
Staple of WKZO in Kalamazoo, home of celery and tin-eared hillbillies

As a child, I was forced to suffer many indignities, but none of them left as painful a scar as being subjected to Rem Wall’s Green Valley Jamboree.

My dear parents even dragged me to Deer Forest in Coloma, not to see the animals or ride the rides, but to see Rem and his boys perform live on stage.

From what I remember, The Green Valley Boys were on Saturday nights just before we went to Mass. There’s nothin’ like country music to put you in the mood for salvation! When we got home, we’d have supper where I would get a dose of Lawrence Welk for good measure. Helps keep your mind on your bizness! [Grandpa Simpson voice]

Those of you who’ve derided my taste in music in times past, should therefore cut me some slack. You can see the damage that was done by these passive-aggressive parental tortures.

Anyhoo, misery loves him some company so here ya go…

Continue reading “Repressed Memories”

Meanwhile, in the World of Art…

Ooo. Ahh.
Ooo. Ahh.

I’m no art critic, but I appreciate creativity and here’s creativity on a very large scale. Christo, who you might have heard of for his surreal art installations, has done it again with the, ahem, Big Air Package. Strange on the outside, kinda magical on the inside.

Christo and his late wife collaborated on some truly whimsical art such as Surrounded Islands and the Wrapped Reichstag. With the Big Air Package, he created a giant balloon inside an empty gas storage tank. Give the man credit for his project management chops, because doing stuff this big has got to be complicated as hell!

Now, we all know that some of what passes for art, clearly isn’t. Say what you like about Christo, he definitely makes you stop and think. It’s just too bad that we as a society have become so jaded, that we only react to stunts, and not to the beauty that surrounds us every day.

If spring ever comes, go outside and stare at a flower for a while. I’ll bet it will elicit a quiet “Wow!”

Continue reading “Meanwhile, in the World of Art…”

The Feast of the Annunciation

annunciation

Humble, young maiden, favored of God, you are to be the new Eve, the Mother of us all. Will you accept this? Do you know what it will mean?

Scandal, ostracism, pain.

And a sword will pierce your heart. Are you willing?

“Be it done unto me as you say.”

Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now, and at the hour of our death. Amen.

Continue reading “The Feast of the Annunciation”

The Eleventh Station

Jesus is Nailed to the Crosstheeleventhstation

Iron pierces Your flesh. Every blow of the hammer reverberates in waves of searing pain up Your arms and legs. The blood You’ve shed so far is not enough to fill chasm caused by my rebellion. Now You shed still more. It oozes from the wounds, runs down Your limbs, and pools on the dusty ground as if the earth were ashamed to drink it in.

But that is why You came to earth. Only Your perfect life and precious blood will heal dying creation, and my long dead soul. If I could only weep enough tears to wash the crimson stain away…

What were You thinking at that moment my Lord? What emotions filled Your heart as my forebears—and I—tortured You? Did You look down the centuries and see me; lost, frightened, and despairing?

I look back across the centuries but cannot watch, even now. Spare me Merciful Savior from the despair I feel at having so offended You.

Tourney Update

So how’s your bracket doing? Congratulations to the LaSalle Explorers and the Eagles of Florida Gulf Coast U on making the Sweet 16 and busting up my bracket. My Spartans go up against the hated Dukies on Friday.

Here’s a little tribute to my Alma Mater in keeping with the season, the MSU Accafellas with their rendition of Hallelujah by Leonard Cohen.

Go Green! Go White!

Man, Shaw Hall looks a lot better than I remember it!

The Tenth Station

thetenthstationJesus is Stripped

The soldiers roughly pull your blood sodden clothes from Your back, sending new waves of searing pain to rack Your poor body. You stand naked in the sight of the remaining crowd—and all Your creation—silently waiting for the last insult: being nailed to a cross like a common criminal.

Cursed. Hateful. Forgotten. Haven’t You suffered enough for my sake?

Creator and everlasting King of the universe, You stand in front of us in broken flesh. A mere man like me—or so it seems. The Romans take your garments to divide amongst themselves. Your Crown they cannot take, nor would anyone dare, if they could only see You in Your glory.

But Your glory is in this torn and fleshly body, the same as that of Your children; those You deigned to set aside Your heavenly crown to save.

Lord Jesus, give me the robe of righteousness that You have woven for me through Your Passion. Never again let me soil so costly a garment.

March Madness

FWIW, I filled out my annual NCAA Tournament bracket. Like President Obama, I have nothing bballbetter to do. I’ll spare you the whole thing, but my Final Four consists of Louisville, Ohio State, Kansas, and Indiana.

I have Indiana playing Louisville for the championship but losing to the Cardinals in a rare collapse.

No way Notre Dame makes it past Ohio State in the round of 32. The Highlighter Yellow & Blue bow to VCU in the same round. Sorry, but if they should make it to the Sweet Sixteen, they’ll surely lose to either Kansas or the Tarheels.

And yes, I have MSU losing to Duke in the Sweet Sixteen. It’s just like calling my only child ugly and stupid, but there it is.

So, how did you pick ’em?